Friday, January 14, 2011

Rug is pulled from under Zodiac




The HOROSCOPE will never be the same


At a local watering hole there are new come on lines: “Hi, did you use to be a LIBRA?” “So, gorgeous, what is your new Zodiac sign?”

This in itself is of little consequence since it really doesn’t amount to a heap of manure, but seriously, Ophiuchus? That is the name given to the new constellation that it is said to be visible…a change from when the ancient Babylonians based zodiac signs on the constellation the sun was "in" on the day a person was born. During the ensuing millenniums, the moon's gravitational pull has made the Earth "wobble" around its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment.

This not only typifies the concept that change is constant but it also must be devastatingly terrifying to those who actually follow the Zodiac and look up their horoscope on a daily basis. Some even use it as a guide to do or not do certain things and others believe so fervently in it like my ex-wife who would spend hundreds of dollars having her NATAL CHART done.

Here are the new date changes for existing signs:

  • Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
  • Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
  • Pisces: March 11-April 18
  • Aries: April 18-May 13
  • Taurus: May 13-June 21
  • Gemini: June 21-July 20
  • Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
  • Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
  • Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
  • Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
  • Scorpio: Nov. 23-Dec. 17
  • Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

What still seems unclear to me is where this monstrosity of a new comer called “Ophiucus” fits in. As if this isn't confusing enough, there's talk about adding a 13th sign to the mix -- Ophiuchus, which would span Nov. 29 - Dec. 17, leaving poor Scorpio with only a tiny, six-day window (Nov. 23 - Nov. 29). And it leaves to speculation what would have happened if this change had occurred during the Reagan years when Nancy Regan advised her husband on actions to take or not take according to her interpretations of the Horoscope. Go figure.

I feel so cheated because I was a Scorpio and now that sign is the most insignificant of all the signs; leaving it with a stingy six day duration…Bastards!, they take away my job, my pensions, my Social Security and now they want to take away my Zodiac sign…is there no shame, is this not an assault on Western Civilization? This is the beginning of the end for mankind as we know it…I mean, what would we do now that everything has changed? That means that all of our past actions and inactions based on the old signs were done wrong…I am now a VIRGO! That just doesn’t jibe with me…come on, a virgin? lol

I propose that this new sign of Ophiuchus is illustrated or depicted by the vulture…it is the most reasonable and appropriate animal since this newcomer to the Zodiac has devoured the putrid, rotting old Horoscope.




PHOTO SOURCE: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://anmolastrologers.blinkweb.com/uploads.00112525/00110921.gif&imgrefurl=http://anmolastrologers.blinkweb.com/zodiac-signs.


http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog/archives/235639.asp